JOSE MANUEL

Befriend Your Boyfriend After an LQ

Following a blowout, there's an abyss of awkwardness between you and him. Get back on solid ground this way.

Source: CosmoMag

What's more nerve-wracking that a knock-down, drag-out with your guy? The hours or days after youve made up but before you're back to your usual level of closeness. Though no longer actively pissed, you're uncomfortable detached from each other...and worse, unsure how to get on track again.

One thing you shouldn't count on: his taking the reconnecting reigns. "Women have higher levels of estrogen and oxytocin, hormones that promotes bonding. "says John C. Friel, PhD, coauthor of The 7 Best Things (Happy) Couples do, "so they're more likely to [be the first to] try to repair the relationship," Here, some advice for speeding past the awkward stage.

Zip Your Lips

If the post-quarrel chill has him saying little besides "Please pass the salt," your instinct may be to sit him down for a talk about why he's not talking. Resist - he's not up for another heavy discussion.

Instead, do something fun with him. Hit a hiking trail, explore a nearby town, or dance in the living room. "The activity draws your attention away from the fight," explains Friel, and will get you chatting naturally. Then say, "Hey, I'm sorry we had a spat. I hate arguing with you." The key: "Keep it short," says Allen Berger, PhD, author of Love Secrets Revealed. If there are lingering unresolved issues, bring them up later.

Suck Up

If (and only if) the fight was truly your fault, help mend things with a small goft or treat. Pick up the latest issue of his fave magazine or a pint of ice cream you know he'll devour. "Since guys are action-oriented, showing him you feel bad can be more powerful than saying it," says Alan Fruzzetti, PhD, author of The High-Conflict Couple.

Try a Little Touching

No, we don't mean throwing him down on the bed for makeup nooky. It's tempting to indulge in a frisky reconciliation romp, but nonsexual physical contact is actually a better fuse. After a fight, sex "tends to be intense and aggressive because you're on edge," says Fruzzetti. Try holding his hand or cuddling while watching TV on the couch. Once that defensive vibe dissipates, you can get more intimate.

Do Your Own Thing

It's hard when you're feeling insecure about your bond, but hitting the gym or meeting a gal pal can do wonders, "Disengaging lets you clear your head," says Friel. It also distracts you from obsessing on the yellfest. While you're out and about, consider sending him a brief "I Love You" text, suggests Fruzzetti.

Focus on the Future

Just like how looking forward to a vacation or night-out can help you survive a long day at work, bringing up things to do as a couple eases the tension. "When you make plans, the underlying message is the the foundation of your relationship is solid and you're going to be okay," says Berger. It can be anything from e-mailing him about a romantic locale you'd love to visit with him to asking if he wants to try out a new restaurant.

Bonus Tip: Before seeing your guy post-spat, things of three things you love about him. Your body language will automatically reflect warmth and affection rather than anxiety.

What The Hell is that Dance?

TV and Radio still tops for Pinoys but online media catching up

Television is still the medium of choice for most Filipinos with an overwhelming 99 percent of Pinoys choosing TV over other media platforms such as Radio (61%), Weekly Magazines (32%), the Internet (32%) and Daily Newspapers (25%), data from Synovate’s Media Atlas study revealed Monday.

Carole Sarthou, Managing Director of Synovate Philippines, said the Media Atlas explores consumer attitudes towards media consumption habits and their lifestyles. The study interviewed 4,958 respondents between the ages of 15 to 64 across all income levels living in Greater Manila, Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao.

"With high saturation levels, terrestrial TV leads the way when it comes to reaching audiences while Cable and Satellite TV is not far behind with more than half (52%) of respondents indicating that they subscribe each month," she said.

Target: People Aged 15-64

Sarthou said 53 percent of respondents listened to FM radio stations compared to 23 percent of respondents who were avid AM radio station listeners.

She said reading remained popular among Filipinos with more than half (59%) selecting newspapers and magazines as the medium of their choice while one quarter (23%) of respondents surveyed said they read a newspaper daily.

Seventeen percent of respondents said they preferred reading newspapers in Tagalog while less than one quarter (11%) mentioned English newspapers as their preferred reading choice. The survey also showed that readership for both newspapers and magazines was highest in the Greater Manila area.

Steve Garton, Synovate global media director, said print is ideally positioned to develop online because it is text-rich and is manned by professional representatives.

"The renaissance of print is that it is easy (for it) to step into the Internet while preserving the editorial values of the publication. In every country where we've been, we have seen that that Internet does not cannibalize print but extend it," Garton said.

In the Philippines, he said, he has not seen a decline in the readership of newspapers due to strong base of loyal followers built over the years.

The Role of the Internet

The survey showed that more than a third of respondents (32%) said they are also logging onto the Internet at least once a week. At least 90 percent of 4,958 respondents said they used the Internet mainly to read and send e-mail.

Other online activities included downloading and uploading (53%), using search engines (44%), listening to music (42%) as well as playing online games (34%).

"Communicating through Instant Messenger or IM has also risen in popularity among younger Filipinos aged between 15 to 34 with more than half (60%) indicating that they chat online while the next phase of media convergence in the Philippines could be mobile internet, considering that close to half (41%) of respondents own cell phones with this capability," Sarthou said.

The survey revealed that 82 percent of respondents owned DVD players, 77 percent said they owned a VCD player, 70 percent said they owned a mobile phone without Internet capability while 41 percent said they owned a cell phone with Intenet capability.

On the other hand, 29 percent of respondents said they owned some type of insurance, 23 percent said they owned a credit card and nine percent said they owned property for investment.

Variety, Quality and New Things

When it comes to lifestyles choices, three quarters (75%) of respondents from the ages of 15 to 64 said that they would like to try new things while close to two thirds (64%) of respondents regarded social status as an important factor to their everyday lives.

Filipinos also indicated that variety was important to them with two thirds (66%) indicating that they like a lot of variety in their lives while 62% of respondents said that paying extra for quality was worthwhile.

"Interestingly enough, respondents also mentioned that they were time pressed when it came to shopping with more than half (57%) indicating that they do not have time to shop around and would usually buy the brands they trust," Sarthou said.

Designed to capture a complete cross section of society, the survey is conducted using a combination of face-to-face and telephone interviews, which provide access to 70 percent of Filipino residents with landlines.

Garton said the Media Atlas was launched in response to the local media industry’s need for more accurate measures of the media consumption and lifestyles of Filipino consumers while the new results revealed large audiences across most forms of television, print media, radio and the internet.

"Advertising and media specialists will find vital new information to help plan advertising campaigns, with comprehensive data designed to guide decisions on the right media mix to use to communicate with the right types of consumers," he said.

Source: abscbnnews

Weird Male Behavior - Decoded

From: CosmoPhils 10th Anniversary Issue

Sometimes it's hard to know what makes men tick. So we researched some of guy's most baffling antics. Check out these fascinating explanations.

:: What do guys find so funny about fall-down, kick-in-the-groin humor?

As a rule, people tend to laugh at things that make them uncomfortable, and for men, getting hurt is their worst nightmare. "Guys are afraid of being emasculated, so when they see it happen to someone else, like the Three Stooges or in Dumb abd Dumber, they laugh, almost relieved it's not them," explains psychologist George Weinberg, PhD, author of Why Men Won't Commit.

:: Why do so many men seem oblivious to clutter and mess?
You might be annoyed by the piles of clothes and papers scattered all over his house, but he may not notice! "Because of biology and socialization, women feel pressure to create a warm, comforting environment," says Weinberg. "But a man's pride is outside of the home. His office may be pristine, but the look of his apartment is not a priority."

:: Why do guys play pointless games?

Stacking cans and shooting wads of papers into the trash may seem dumb to you, but he can't help it. "Guys have a need to achieve a sense of competence, even if the skills have no purpose," says Judy Kleinfeld, EdD, professor of psychology at the University of Alaska at Fairbanks.

:: Why do guys spend long hours surfing around on their computers or playing with gadgets?

Call it crazy, but he actually enjoys seeing how far he can push the thing until it breaks. "Then he can have the pleasure of fixing it and learning how it works," says Kleinfeld. "The more he explores, the greater the likelihood that he'll find new features." It's a toy to him, not a functional object.

:: Why is it that as soon as a realationship gets serious, some guys get malabo?

You'll finally decided to be exclusive, and he suddenly starts pulling away. What the hell? Well, men in relationship often feel physically torn in two different directions. While oxytocin, the bonding hormone, is making him want to attach to a girl, the testosterone in his system is telling him to break free and maintain his independence, according to Michael Gurian, author of What Could He Be Thinking?

:: Why do guys respond to a long e-mail with two sentences?
You wrote an entire novel describing your day, and he respond with something like "That's cool. Let's do Chinese for dinner." Annoying? Absolutely, but it's not personal. "For most men, the purpose of communication is just to deliver information, not to connect to another person," explains Weinberg. "If he reads a long e-mail, he'll weed out the pointshe needs to address. Responding to every detail just doesn't seem necessary to him."